what makes you happy? truly? and don't say "life" because let's be honest, im fresh out of wanting to hear the cheesy warm fuzzy postcard quotes and sayings of the world. on the days when you question everything, then, what makes you happy? i don't know. that's where im at right now. i have absolutely no clue how to make myself happy anymore. im a dancer, dance teacher, and dance choreographer - ask me in March of this year what made me happy and without hesitation, i would reply "dance". it's always there for me, never judges, and always gives something back to you in the end with a beautiful artistic culmination of your hard work. sadly, this year i have begun to lose interest in that which once filled my life with joy because it was attached to so many negative things. i know im not the first to feel this way, but feel very alone in losing something i loved in my life. i can't help but think of those people who love something, then as a result of some freak unfortunate accident, they are no longer able to do that which they love. what then? do you just hate life? do you just wake up every single day saying "man, life sucks" to yourself? what is the path to finding your next "love" in life when you lose something?
i decided that not only am i going to blog, im going to journal (or continue to). the difference will be that my journal will be focused solely on stating the joys in life not venting my cathartic rants about my angry journey back to happiness (maybe further into my journey i will be less grouchy and share some of those joys with you! eeek!). maybe, if i just list things that "should" make people happy, i'll figure out that they maybe can make me happy. call it a joy list of sorts - generic joyful things in an effort to seek joy out of them. i may surprise myself - maybe tiny little puppies will be my new "thing" :)
so in my joyous journey, here is the step im taking today:
* im going to list out generic joys daily in my journal, even if i can only think of one.
* im going to find a way to bring the joy back to dance for myself even if it's me dancing alone in my living room while i dust
* im going to change my lifestyle habits and diet - i bought fresh fruits and veggies today. maybe if i feel better internally i will learn to feel better externally.
* when my son comes home from school each day my time will be focused solely on him. no more cleaning, working, blogging, etc. he will get 100% of my energy until i have to cook supper.
No comments:
Post a Comment